Why Librarians Need Motorcycles

Reprinted with permission from http://www.teasecatalog.com

You almost always have somewhere to park.
You can drive straight, and I mean straight into, your office or cubicle.
Nobody expects it. The public think we all drive aqua Ramblers.
It is good for the environment. I mean the environment in your head. If you haven't done it, riding a motorcycle is like sitting on an upholstered chair that is proceeding rapidly down the Diamond Lane of the freeway. Every commute is exciting.
It saves gasoline. That saves money. That saves you having to share kibble with your dog at the end of the paycheck. Besides, it is a lot of fun to tell the clerk at the filling station, "Here's five bucks. Keep the change."
Unlike automobile wrecks, you risk no injury on a motorcycle. In any accident of consequence, you will simply die. Death will free up a spot on the roster for some new librarian to fill. Thus the problem of overcapacity is solved, and the state doesn't bear the burden of your retirement.
Owning a motorcycle automatically qualifies you to review any associated materials for your library. In fact, you won't be able to avoid it.
You will always have friends. Other motorcycle riders will wave at you when they pass. I mean, with more than one digit. This has not happened among automobile drivers since they were outnumbered by buggies.
You can lift your helmet visor and give book talks to children at stop lights.
You can, and must, buy a collection of interesting clothing and accouterments, many of which have no no other use than for riding. You can wear the nasty black boots to weekly meetings to scare your supervisor.
You can speak with authority about the aptly named Hurt Report.
You can silence any noisy adolescent by taking him/her out back to have a look at your vehicle.
You can drive to distant outlet stores without fear of spending too much, because you have no way to carry anything large home.
On the other hand, you can fill your backpack with plenty of books.

Donna H. (California)

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