Librarians Need Motorcycles
permission from http://www.teasecatalog.com
- You almost always have somewhere to park.
- You can drive straight, and I mean straight
into, your office or cubicle.
- Nobody expects it. The public think we all
drive aqua Ramblers.
- It is good for the environment. I mean the
environment in your head. If you haven't done it, riding a motorcycle is
like sitting on an upholstered chair that is proceeding rapidly down the
Diamond Lane of the freeway. Every commute is exciting.
- It saves gasoline. That saves money. That
saves you having to share kibble with your dog at the end of the paycheck.
Besides, it is a lot of fun to tell the clerk at the filling station, "Here's
five bucks. Keep the change."
- Unlike automobile wrecks, you risk no injury
on a motorcycle. In any accident of consequence, you will simply die. Death
will free up a spot on the roster for some new librarian to fill. Thus the
problem of overcapacity is solved, and the state doesn't bear the burden
of your retirement.
- Owning a motorcycle automatically qualifies
you to review any associated materials for your library. In fact, you won't
be able to avoid it.
- You will always have friends. Other motorcycle
riders will wave at you when they pass. I mean, with more than one digit.
This has not happened among automobile drivers since they were outnumbered
- You can lift your helmet visor and give
book talks to children at stop lights.
- You can, and must, buy a collection of interesting
clothing and accouterments, many of which have no no other use than for
riding. You can wear the nasty black boots to weekly meetings to scare your
- You can speak with authority about the aptly
named Hurt Report.
- You can silence any noisy adolescent by
taking him/her out back to have a look at your vehicle.
- You can drive to distant outlet stores without
fear of spending too much, because you have no way to carry anything large
- On the other hand, you can fill your backpack
with plenty of books.
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